Why Porn Would Have Been a Better Career Choice

I had 9, count it NINE, minutes of heaven this morning before I had to drag my sick, sorry, butt out of bed and go to work. My head feels like a big bag of grossness (yes, that is a word) and I struggle to find the energy to even type on my computer. Stapling? Don’t even go there because it just isn’t happening today kiddos. When I write my hands feel weak and I keep wondering if somehow I can figure out how to use both hands to hold the pen up while I write. Of course then I wouldn’t have an arm to keep my balance, whilst sitting in my chair, and I would fall right over. Yes I am THAT sick. Someone asked me how one could get “really really” sick in just 24 hours. Well friend, pretty easily. I might not have a medical degree but it seems to me that at one point you are feeling fine and then slowly you start to feel sick until it becomes a “really really” sickness. And if I was FAKING this really really sick that I am I most certainly would not be at work. I’m here because I have to be and I guess I’m officially living proof that it actually takes less than 24 hours to get double really sick.

I still had plenty of energy for 9 minutes in heaven this morning. What this tells me is that I probably should have been a porn star instead of *insert my job here*. To enjoy working when sick? How wonderful would that be!

Please people, I’m seriously delirious, I can’t really be held accountable for this blog that lacks any sort of reason or intelligence.