My Heart Has A Recall Notice

The wedding is off. He was tall, I remembered that much. He also had dark hair. He wasn’t unattractive by any means but let me list all of the things that WERE wrong with him.

♥ He had freckles. I am not against freckles but they just didn't compliment him?
♥ His fingers were too long. I guess that comes with being tall?
♥ The skin on his very long fingers kind of looked the way I picture Mr. Burns’s (from The Simpsons) skin looking like. That’s a small issue because I have no desire for Mr. Burns to touch my boobs, therefore no desire for Brad to either.
♥ He was super cutely awkward and this is a problem because I’M the awkward one. There is only so much room for awkward in a relationship and I use up all the allotted space myself.
♥ He let me pay (at all). I don’t know if I really care….but he invited me, he picked the restaurant, he IS the man and my old fashioned self isn’t so sure about this. I guess I should take this off my list because he only let me leave the tip (lucky waiter because I tip well) and I genuinely offered. I would have let myself too.
♥ It just…it wasn’t there. I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want or need any more information about him because I just didn’t care. There was no click. The click that was there when I first met him was alcohol induced. Apparently my drunk self really wants to meet someone new whereas my sober self prefers to cry in bed with a spoonful of peanut butter. Isn’t that how the song went?

I’ll go out with him again just one more time. I don’t know why. Maybe so I can tell my mom that I really did try and maybe then she’ll stop telling me I need to get over Z and find someone who “deserves me”. Can I mention how much I hate that expression? I do, I hate it. I don’t like the idea of earning love. We just need to be smart enough to see when it isn’t real. And Brad…bless his very tall heart….isn’t anywhere near being real.

Tall Dark and Handsome

Brad: Hey this is Brad. I don't know if you remember me, tall guy dark hair, anyway just calling to see what your plans were tonight. Give me a call back.

sent via text:
Mel: Is this Brad?
Brad: Yes :) Hi! What are you up to?
Mel: Just cleaning my apartment. Sorry I didn't get your message until just now.
Brad: No worries. Cleaning eh? Sounds like fun! I'd love to get together sometime this week if you're interested.
Mel: That would be good, I'm free any time from Saturday on.
Brad: How about Saturday then? Dinner and drinks?
Mel: Perfect.
Brad: Nice, I'll give you a call tomorrow.

Can I just say that I'm kind of stoked? Not too much, but just enough. Did I mention he has a sexy voice? And..you saw the tall and dark part...because that is important. If he can hold an intelligent conversation you are all invited to our wedding...next week.