I think there is something about being a fresh picked “single” that makes me want to jump on every attractive man I see. Really though, being at work is a dangerous place; even more dangerous for my pride. When I was in what I now refer to as a relationship, as confusing and crazy as it may have been, I didn’t see any of the cute men around me. Now I’m sitting in my cube touching shoulders with a *insert specific department here* guy and thinking, “hey I really wish I could take you home with me tonight” or you know, something along those lines. Then I have some meeting and this cute older guy, who I previously referred to as “the round one” (not because he is really fat but his face is just round and I didn’t know his name!!!) suddenly is more of “the cute quiet one”. My attraction to the men around here is like the plague. The real question is if I have a chance, and if I do….do I want to take it? I’m at least 75% in rebound mode, 15% in genuine interest mode, and 10% of me has no desire whatsoever to ever have any love interest ever again.
Do I need that crazy rebound fling? I’m not talking sex though. So maybe that is my answer. I’m not looking for a piece of ass, to put it politely, I’m looking for some genuine social stimulation. Is it so wrong for a girl to want a new face in front of her at the dinner table? No, I don’t suppose it is, the wrong part is that I really don’t know if I really AM interested and well…..I really hate rejection. No matter that I’ve never failed to get a date with someone that I really had my sights set on (minus the gorgeous love of my freaking life Man Candy in my college Health class…..but that was only because we weren’t allowed to talk so he didn’t know how cool I am….and stuff like that) but then again I don’t really have my sights set that often. So….do I put energy into it or just crush Jr. High style and let it blow over, at least until I’m done crying every night over “him”, and that may or may not be very soon…or a long ways away?
Someone tell me to move out of this place where I’m tempted by religious men that love to break my heart. Damn you Utah, damn you to hell!!! If I haven’t learned my lesson the firs time why do I think I’ll learn it a second or third or fourth time? I’m not meant for this place. You have to be here to understand.
*if you didn't catch on today is run on sentence day (is it just me or is sentence spelled really funny???)
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8 comments:
boo on the 10%.
@coffeesnob: normal yes? Just out of a pretty emotionally heavy relationship. A little burned. Needing some time off. 10% seems really reasonable to me. After all, it goes away after a while.
Every day is run on sentence day for me. Well every day is jump on any man day too, shoot! I think you would get a kick out of some of my own 10% stories at http://www.jennycurl.com. Don't settle for the "moment"...some things never change.
I think 10% is very reasonable :)
Work can be a tempting place, although it can definitely become a sticky situation.
Women don't need sex to get over their ex, so I can totally understand you just wanting social companionship. But telll that to the men ;)
Sentence is a funny word. I understand the social stimulation you need, I'm on the rebound too, and it's one fucking hell of a plague. Although I happen to want a piece of ass, but against my better judgment I won't because I know how I'll feel afterward and...fuck being on the rebound. I just want to throw away my baggage and find someone to take my mind off him. Pronto.
m: well put. I agree. Get my mind elsewhere and onto to bigger and better things.
I am going through the exact same thing at the moment. When you find the secret, do share.
Can't we just hop from guy to guy to get over the last? No? Damnit.
I love the way you share without reserve and so authentically.
I am certain the way your eyes have now been opened to the men in your life as being a bit more attractive to you...your newfound singleness has caught their eyes even MORE SO than before.
Maybe in time one of the work mates could turn in to someone more than just someone to share dinner with. Here's to hoping!
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