I recently got in contact, well was contacted BY, an old friend that I have known since I was a wee little 6 year old that was surprisingly less awkward than me now. I was happy to hear from her and even more happy when she sent me a link to her blog…….and a blog for all the girls we went to school with? Apparently you have to be married to join this special little club; I assume that because I talk to more than one of the girls who are a part of this and I have never even HEARD that people were in contact so often, let alone BLOGGING together. I guess they didn’t know how much I love the blogging world? Or MAYBE I am right and you have to be married. But my lack of invitation to the "girls dinners" and holiday parties and baby announcement slash showers and hospital visits isn’t what I am thinking about right now…it’s the domestic goddess façade that is clearly abundant in all of their blogs. Their “about me” descriptions are all the same, just copy and paste names. “I met my sweetheart and BEST FRIEND (make sure everyone knows how HAPPY we are to have met and gotten married at 20 and we are BEST FRIENDS so you know we never fight or anything) my first year of college (insert name of local religious university here) and we dated for a year before we got married in *insert name of religious temple here* and now have FIFTYBAZILLION KIDS!!”. Okay so not the kids part; most of them only have 2 (?!). The titles of their blogs range from A-Z….in last names that is. “The Blabberdies” “The OMGYOUMAKEMECHOKE’s Blog!” etc etc and there are a gillion photo’s of their house and children and details about what meals they make for Christmas or how their husband is so successful and they thank their savior for blessing them so “she” can be a stay at home mom.
After three blogs I started to wonder what gene I missed out on or what pill I never took because this isn’t what I wish my life was. Sure I would love to have a husband someday and I want to make a beautiful baby or two but will I have to sacrifice my own identity for it? Will I have to proudly announce to the whole world that I love my husband’s last name and 3 years later still like to call myself Mrs. Joeblowyourself instead of by my first name? I hope not because it was just sad. It wasn’t sad that they only have their kids to talk about but it IS sad that they are all wonderfully brilliant women who graduated with honors who never utter one word about their own desires or talents and never post any pictures of something that does not portray themselves as PERFECT. Because that is what we are supposed to be when we grow up. A mom, a wife, a cook, a maid, you know, all those things that perfect women do. WE ALL NEED TO BE PERFECT OR HOW WILL WE GET TO THE CELESTIAL KINDGOM??? Our Heavenly Father wants us to respect our husbands as the ultimate patriarch and never question his rules…..I mean decisions EVEN THOUGH THEY AFFECT ALL OF US!
Obviously I have issues with A)Being a wife and nothing else the rest of my life B)Trading in my stilettos and $300 jeans for pink pajama pants and C)Mormons.
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5 comments:
Oh my gosh, I know that I don't know you. But, you are just the way I see myself.
I've lived here, in Utah, for 22 years of my life and I do not want what the girls my age have.
I want a career, that I choose. I want kids when i'm 30. I want to play tennis 5 times a week, run on the beach, go to ireland, live in paris, and enjoy my husband for a few years. ALL of those things BEFORE I have one or two kids.
I have met the man that i'm going to marry. We're both catholic and LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of living OUR lives together first. Before we have the "happy little family".
It's sad when the honor student type girls succumb to what "the church" says they should do. It's not fair to them. It's a waste of great talent. They live these perfect little lives, but honestly, the "perfect" little lives live them.
Great blog.
Begeezus. It's about to start for me too - watching a handful of my girlfriends get married right after college. I'm hoping the kids part won't come so quickly tough.
Seriously.
I could NEVER see my self being a house wife 100% of my time. Maybe for a year or two, but not the rest of my life.
I want to have a fun marriage. Yeah sure the kids and all, but I don't want to lose my identity or lose my identity as a couple with my husband.
I want to be successful in my career AND also be a mom/wife. My man and I always talk about not wanting to have a typical "Christian" marriage. We want to be married, have children,, but also enjoy each other as a couple and independently.
Too much to ask for...?
great post!!! i always wonder when someone has to go on and on about how blissfully happy they are, if they are trying to talk themselves into that or what?? i'm remarried and this hubby is awesome but that doesn't mean we don't get into it every now and then!!
Ah sigh... I know exactly what you are talking about. A few of my girlfriends are already married, some a few years older, some younger, and I have NO idea what they have turned into. It's like they had a wedding and a lobotomy.
All of a sudden their facebook profiles change to their new last name, their profile pictures are from weddings almost 5 months ago, and their social life has turned into couples only parties.. no only just couples, but MARRIED couples only!
I mean-don't get me wrong; it's cute, but only from the outside. From the inside... I like spending my money on yet another pair of boots/red winter jacket/lululemon pants... all in one day-without consulting my significant other. Le sigh; let's be freaks (on the internet, of course) together.
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