My Heart Has A Recall Notice

The wedding is off. He was tall, I remembered that much. He also had dark hair. He wasn’t unattractive by any means but let me list all of the things that WERE wrong with him.

♥ He had freckles. I am not against freckles but they just didn't compliment him?
♥ His fingers were too long. I guess that comes with being tall?
♥ The skin on his very long fingers kind of looked the way I picture Mr. Burns’s (from The Simpsons) skin looking like. That’s a small issue because I have no desire for Mr. Burns to touch my boobs, therefore no desire for Brad to either.
♥ He was super cutely awkward and this is a problem because I’M the awkward one. There is only so much room for awkward in a relationship and I use up all the allotted space myself.
♥ He let me pay (at all). I don’t know if I really care….but he invited me, he picked the restaurant, he IS the man and my old fashioned self isn’t so sure about this. I guess I should take this off my list because he only let me leave the tip (lucky waiter because I tip well) and I genuinely offered. I would have let myself too.
♥ It just…it wasn’t there. I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want or need any more information about him because I just didn’t care. There was no click. The click that was there when I first met him was alcohol induced. Apparently my drunk self really wants to meet someone new whereas my sober self prefers to cry in bed with a spoonful of peanut butter. Isn’t that how the song went?

I’ll go out with him again just one more time. I don’t know why. Maybe so I can tell my mom that I really did try and maybe then she’ll stop telling me I need to get over Z and find someone who “deserves me”. Can I mention how much I hate that expression? I do, I hate it. I don’t like the idea of earning love. We just need to be smart enough to see when it isn’t real. And Brad…bless his very tall heart….isn’t anywhere near being real.