I Don't Want to Take It

Last night I got into a very heated discussion, concerning my relationship situation, with two very close friends. As the discussion became more of an argument about what I’m doing and who is right about the reality of this “relationship” I slowly became more and more upset ending the entire conversation in tears. I am trying to think openly, trying to understand that they love me and want the best for me, but you don’t make your friends cry! You don’t, I’m sorry. At no point of wanting to help a friend should you grill her until she cries.

I guess I was just a little taken aback when one of my “friends” leaned in and began aggressively telling me that he didn’t care about me. “Mel you don’t he doesn’t care about you right? You know all he wants is sex and he is getting it. He doesn’t even respect you. Do you know that he doesn’t respect you? Are you honestly okay with him not respecting you?”. She put me in tears and I’m struggling to forgive her for her hurtful words. She went beyond a friend trying to help her friend from getting hurt. SHE hurt me. And she is wrong.

When did making someone feel bad about themselves (even in the name of friendship) become a good way to give advice? And when did I even ask for advice? Somehow this whole confrontation became her trying to make me feel that he has degraded me because we are taking things back a step or two. We are not “He’s Just Not That Into You” no matter how hard everyone tries to fit us into that little cookie cutter mold. This is a lot more complicated than that and maybe these friends need to sit down and think about all of their relationships and how nothing is ever just as simple as having feelings and being together. Maybe they should remember how many times they broke up with their boyfriends and then got back together. I feel like that would shut them up for a while.

*Edit to explain: After the work trip thing...and some recent conversations, we are back to the point we were at a year ago; dating, which is more then we have been since the breakup. Hence the onslaught of advice from friends who obviously don't agree with my decision to work things out with him. I guess it just changed from nothing to something (again) so quickly and they can't see that this is what we both want right now.