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I get into this self deprecation slump when I’m stressed/depressed and this week is no different. It doesn’t help that my hair is chronically limp and desperately in need of some color. My skin hasn’t seen the sun in ages because God is punishing me with SNOW IN MAY (see blurbomat if you don’t know what the weather in Utah has been like this year.).. The only upside to being sick is that I don’t eat so I feel like I’m skinnier. Sick but true. Other than that there are no benefits to teh sickness. I can’t do yoga because…well have you ever tried deep breathing while sick? Not to mention that you need to deep breathe through a nose which is something on my body that is currently functioning like a rock. No, I mean a real rock. One with no holes to breathe out of.

Working is nearly out of the question and not because I don’t feel well enough to come into the office (for the record, I don’t, but I have to). My head is one big fuzzy mess. I don’t know how I’m supposed to concentrate on anything feeling this way. I’m also pre-occupied with all of the other shit going down. Like my mom going missing. Tearful phone calls, missed work, and now no one knows where she is. My dad doesn’t call me during times like this because I say, “Maybe she’s taking a nap or not answering the phone because she’s stressed” and that is what he doesn't want to hear. But that's all I have to say....Because I get her. I get the need to run away. Sure people get worried but if they had paid any attention over the last 28 years they would have noticed that she does this…a lot. When I was a kid it upset me but not anymore. How can I get upset when I do the exact.same.thing! Sometimes you just need to get away and my mom and I, well, we have a tendency to follow through on that need. *shrug* Not saying that it is the right way to cope but it is our way.

Mostly this week has been a big let down. The last 3 weeks really. More stress than I feel up to dealing with and I kind of just want to tell the whole world to Fuck off. Anyone know a guy who is turned on by a grouchy girl with a runny nose? Send em my way. Wait, nix that. I'm so sick of men in general right now.