Crying is the Refuge of Plain Women

Look internets…I’m sorry. I know I haven’t posted since mid last week. I have hardly even thought about you really. I was too worried about these things:

♥ Moving (which is almost done minus some chairs and my home desktop which only works on odd days, and sometimes not even then)
♥ Him coming home and having some really incredible *getting to (re) know you* ;) time
♥ Paying bills to stupid people whom, in my opinion, don’t deserve my hard earned money.
♥ Taking cranberry pills so I don’t pee blades (I was pretty sure you needed to know that part)
♥ Looking in my empty pantry and wondering how I was going to buy groceries when I have way more important items on the top of my list (new jeans)

So, after all of that I’m sure you understand. It would be hard not to I’d imagine.

Moving is stressful! It causes people to fight. It almost made me cry my one tear! Instead I saved that tear for last night and used it on something silly. I have all these weird ideas of how I should handle situations on my own instead of being the typical girl who can’t do it and has her man do it for her and it makes me rather stubborn to say the least. When he offers even the littlest bit of assistance I clam up and get upset and he gets frustrated because he just wants to fix it; but I can’t let him. And so….after some silence and my one tear he grabbed my hand and somehow it just worked itself out. I’ll be glad when this week is over.

Work is mad. It is the Mad Hatter himself! Meetings on top of meetings. Organic-ness, Gap and Non Gap. Confusion. We can’t write off discounts. Applications are giving errors. I have a mile high pile of paperwork and I can’t get out of a meeting long enough to take care of it. (and we all know that blogging really has to come before work when you’ve neglected your love for as many days as I have).. I’ve actually started filing things on my FLOOR because I can’t get the assistant to find boxes for me and apparently they are hidden deeper than Atlantis and God FORBID we just buy new ones. Not that there is anywhere to store them once I’ve filed them. Every inch of every spare area in this building is being used by other papers. We’ve been working on getting a secured storage unit for over a year. Yes, this is how it works in my world.

My tan is getting pretty kick ass tough. At least the important things in life are in line.

The Point Of This Post

Ew. Long day! What? You say it’s only Wednesday? Damn the days. I just don’t think Wednesday is going to work for me. Thursday (night) MAYBE but, no, Wednesday just won’t do. Could someone get to work on that? Do I need to email the Google help team? How about Tom from MySpace? Someone needs to get this day fixed A.S.A.P. Or you/anyone could get me drunk, that is essentially the same thing.

Sometimes I stay late at work just to enjoy the silence of my second home. Or really my first home since I’ve been trucking it between houses lately. Mine,his.mine.his.mine.his. Getting old. And, it isn’t really silent because once everyone leaves I turn my music up loud. As in very very loud. I like it that way. I stay late because I like posting from this computer rather than my personal one. The screen is better and it makes my blog look prettier when I can actually see it all at once without scrolling to the side heh.

Really though I AM working on a point to this post but it just isn’t happening.

I could talk about the family I haven’t seen all week. I feel bad about that one too. I could talk about how everything always feels so good with him when I want it to feel wrong. I could talk about how I need to laugh (so so so badly). I could talk about how broke I am from that spending binge I went on but that is just depressing especially since I have another week(end especially) until pay day and I’ve already committed to going out Thursday AND Friday. *crie* (aside: I love internets lingo when I’m bored. Deal.with.it./aside) We could talk about how much I love the () signs (too lazy to spell that word but not too lazy to write all this *ahem*). Or how long it has been since I've seen a movie at the theater. I really love to talk about things.......

So I suppose the point of this is that I have no point. And I can’t actually talk about ANYTHING because this is a blog and I’m writing not talking. Geez now I have to start from the beginning. FUCK.

About Being A Grownup(ish)

The bad things about becoming a grown up as per Mel:

♥ Full time jobs

♥ Bills

♥ Rent

♥ Doing my own laundry (even though I've always done this)

♥ Acting maturely in relationships

♥ Paying for dinner when I go out with my family

♥ Making more money than my parents (but not put together)

♥ Knowing what it feels like to be divorced

♥ Heartbreak; the real kind not the high school kind

♥ Being expected to match our own clothing

♥ Realizing that it is gross not to wash your sheets VERY often and therefore OCDing about it and feeling gross when you don't

♥ Not being comfortable sleeping in the clothes I wore the day before

♥ Hearing my knees crack when I bend down

♥ Admitting that ALTHOUGH 40 is the new 30 (which makes 30 the new 20) you are still getting old no matter how "HAWT" Hollywood says older women are (and I think it's awesome we are realizing that women can be sexy at any age but that doesn't make their bones ache less or make them age more slowly)

♥ Not being able to look out the window from my room and wonder what my "soul mate" is doing right at that moment because I know there is no such thing.

♥ Admitting that I might just be me....forever.....with no mate of any kind (unless a dog counts)

♥ Actually finding writing shit like this interesting.....

♥ Being at work at 9:30 at night, which makes over 12 hours straight for the day




The good thing about becoming a grown up as per Mel:

♥ Buying my own alcohol and not caring if I look like an alcoholic

♥ Spending my money however I choose

♥ Knowing how to have responsible sex

♥ Knowing how to have GOOD sex

♥ Not feeling guilty when I do have sex...more than once....with more than one person

♥ Having a kick ass job even when my friends are still working retail

♥ Knowing how to spell big/tricky words like encyclopedia or ornery ;)

♥ Being really really good at faking an orgasm and feeling no shame over it

♥ Knowing that life is bad sometimes and a magic fairy won't come to fix it

♥ Smoking weed because I can and because I want to (might be illegal but I won't get grounded for it)

♥ Knowing that it is acceptable to go to bed at 10 or even earlier

♥ Actually enjoying waking up early on weekends

♥ Not spending my life in front of the teley

♥ Shrugging off my parents advice when I think know they are wrong

What about you? Some hates and some loves,