Not About Love

The fabulous weather has put me in an un-me-like good mood! I love it! The only thing better would be actually laying out (essentially naked) in the sun getting some skin cancer. Just thinking about it makes me feel tanner, or, more tan I mean. Something like that.

My day has started off pretty normal, despite the great mood. I spilled coffee on my shirt because I forget I’m not allowed to wear white (when I do I inevitably spill on myself). I get all my work applications, of which there are many, up and running before my computer decides to “update” (whatever the hell THAT means) and needs to restart. Well….it’ll have to wait because I am just way too computer lazy to close, restart, and then reopen all of these incredibly slow running programs.

“He” is being awfully grumpy this morning which I just can’t understand. How are you grumpy when you are the one who slept in? Hell, he was asleep when I slipped out the door. So, because he got over an hour more of sleep than I did I just refuse to indulge his grumpiness. Having a penis does not entitle one to grump. Unless he is bleeding from said part I just won’t give in. So I’ll just avoid, and it can be his loss because aside from the original coffee stain (which cleaned up rather nicely) I look great today. The kind of great that doesn’t usually last until the evening but hey a couple hours of greatness is alright with me!

When I announced that I was too lazy to change the printer paper a coworker nodded and said, “don’t feel bad I have those days all the time”. Really? Well then I guess it is a good thing I felt no remorse whatsoever of my incredible paper laziness. I didn’t really need the paper I was printing. It was for someone else. If they wanted it that badly they could put some paper in the printer. I just didn’t feel like doing it. If I should have feel bad about it I’m in trouble. The last time I felt bad over my laziness was….well so long ago that it doesn’t even count anymore! Besides, it is warm out, why should I be paper friendly when I can just sit and watch the clock tick towards quitting time?

And since I’ve actually talked about anything even remotely interesting concerning my day I think I’ll take my leave. There is much more procrastinating to do. Also, I need to learn the words to every song on my Fiona Apple cd. See I’m not lazy at all!!!

Side note: Any typos are a direct result of the “update need to restart” alert that comes up on my screen every five seconds. Some might say it is more work to keep hitting “restart later” than it would be to actually restart, but my mind is made up.

EDIT: I should have known that spilling on myself would ruin the weather. HOW COULD I DO THAT?!?! Stupid stupid me.

I’m getting most of the lyrics down to a T. Also, I’ve won two games of hangman on my homepage. I am just about to read about how to tell if my guy is cheating on my (via IVillage). I’d better get to that…..

Spring is In the Air

You know the sex people talk about that actually causes one or both partners to literally lose all body function whatsoever? Including speech? We have that. You can't find that just anywhere. Go ahead and be jealous. It is my daily workout.

The thing I love about being drunk is that we can make out in public and it is totally okay and totally normal.

What a completly great and amazing weekend! I spent time with my friends, the kind that will last and last (the friends I mean). I couldn't have asked for anything more. Plus, I bought clothes and shoes. WARM is finally here!!! I love the sun. I'm working now, but I plan to leave and go for an amazing hike.

Deep down I have a crush on someone that I really shouldn't have a crush on. Just one of those things I never outgrow. With age it seems to be more prominent actually. I like these crushes. I know I'll never do anything with it and visa versa.

Can I just say that I LOVE knee length shorts that are so in season right now? Because I do. I adore them. I love tshirts and flip flops. I love hats and braids. I just love spring. We may have a few days until Spring actually hits but I'm loving the early hints.

Now I am out to take a long mellow, meandering, lovely walk.

God Eats Lunch Too I'm Sure

And on the 7th day God and Mrs. God got in a big fight and he created the period that would also later become punctuation. See, even the holy father and mother fought sometimes.

Mr God: I sacrificed a man’s RIB just so you could exist!
Mrs. God: Well your rib won’t get me a drink of water in the middle of the night so it isn’t much use to me!
Mr. God: You also have two legs!
Mrs. God: AND I WILL GIVE BIRTH TO HUMANITY!!!
Mr. God: Which you couldn’t do without a period. *BAM FLASH* (period’s are created )
Mrs. God: You could have found another way you bastard
Mr. God: Oh now it has come to name calling huh
Mrs. God: Just stating a fact. Do you know who your father is? NO, you’ve just existed since the beginning of time which doesn’t even exist. So bastard it is. Find me proof of a legally wed father and I’ll take it back.

AND God lost that argument but he left the periods and the horrible pain that accompanies them just to be bitter and spiteful. Go figure (he has a penis)

Lunch, there is nothing better than an hour in the middle of a long day when I can sit and talk to cute boys and eat food. Two of the best things....

Spring is making me so happy! (even with cramps)